Written by Farzana Naz, Director / Head of Family · SRA-regulated · Last reviewed 25 June 2026
Disagreements about childcare during the summer break are one of the most common issues in family law. What should be an enjoyable and memorable time for children can quickly become a source of stress for separated parents.
Whether the disagreement concerns travel plans, the length of time children spend with each parent, or how a child’s specific needs will be met, early planning and a structured approach can make a significant difference.
This guide explains how parents can try to reach agreement, and what happens when agreement isn’t possible.
Why Summer Holidays Often Lead to Disputes
Unlike term-time routines, summer holidays create unique pressures:
- Longer, uninterrupted periods of time with the children
- Competing work commitments
- Requests for foreign travel
- Disruption to established routines
These factors often bring underlying tensions to the surface.
Common flashpoints include:
- One parent wanting to take the children abroad without consent
- Disputes over dividing the six-week holiday
- Disagreements about childcare / child contact (e.g. nannies, grandparents, new partners)
- Concerns about a parent’s ability to manage a child with additional needs
- One parent seeking extended “break” time from caring responsibilities
Case Study: Work Constraints, Special Needs, and Competing Expectations
The following example reflects a common situation we see in practice.
The scenario:
A father with two children (one with special needs) wants to spend two weeks with them over the summer. The children primarily live with their mother.
The challenge:
- The father cannot take more than two consecutive weeks of leave
- The mother wants a longer break and proposes he takes the children for 3–4 weeks
- The father does not want to rely on third-party childcare
- The child with additional needs requires structure and continuity
The difficulty:
Both positions are reasonable — but incompatible without compromise.
Practical Legal Advice: How to Approach the Situation
We advised our client to:
1. Set out a clear proposal early
Confirm the two-week period in writing well in advance to give the other parent time to plan.
2. Provide a detailed holiday plan
Include:
- Accommodation
- Activities
- Daily routine
- Specific arrangements for the child with additional needs
3. Acknowledge the other parent’s needs
Recognising the importance of respite can reduce conflict and open productive discussion.
4. Offer practical compromises
For example:
- Additional support from trusted family members
- Flexibility on specific dates
- Additional contact outside the summer period
5. Build in flexibility
Suggest a yearly review rather than a rigid, long-term arrangement.
6. Keep communication child-focused
Frame all discussions around the children’s best interests, not parental entitlements.
Step-by-Step Guide: Reaching Agreement
1. Start early
Raise summer arrangements in March or April, not late May or June.
2. Put everything in writing
Use email or co-parenting apps to:
- Avoid misunderstandings
- Create a clear record
- Encourage thoughtful responses
3. Consider mediation
A family mediator can:
- Reduce conflict
- Keep discussions structured
- Help avoid court proceedings
4. Seek legal advice early
A solicitor can:
- Provide realistic expectations
- Explain how a court would approach the issue
- Strengthen your negotiating position
5. Plan carefully for children with additional needs
Ensure:
- Continuity of care
- Minimal disruption
- Access to support services if needed
6. Use a parenting plan
A written plan covering:
- Holidays
- Birthdays
- Special occasions
This can prevent repeated disputes year after year.
Quick Checklist: Before You Propose Summer Arrangements
Use this before contacting the other parent:
- Have I proposed specific dates?
- Have I explained where the children will stay?
- Have I addressed work constraints clearly?
- Have I considered the child’s routine and needs?
- Have I acknowledged the other parent’s position?
- Is my proposal realistic and workable?
- Is the tone constructive and child-focused?
What If You Can’t Agree?
If agreement cannot be reached:
Mediation
Usually the next step and often required before court proceedings.
Court Application
You can apply for a Child Arrangements Order or a Specific Issue Order.
The court will decide based on the child’s best interests, considering:
- Wishes and feelings (age-dependent)
- Physical, emotional, and educational needs
- Impact of changes
- Each parent’s capability
- Any risk of harm
Court should be a last resort, it is time-consuming, costly, and stressful.
Taking Children Abroad: Legal Requirements
If you plan to travel abroad with your child:
- You must have written consent from everyone with parental responsibility
- Unless a court order specifically permits travel
Failing to obtain consent can have serious legal consequences, including potential child abduction issues.
Frequently Asked Questions / Questions & Answers
Can the court order a summer holiday to take place?
Yes, particularly if refusal is unreasonable and no welfare concerns exist.
What if my ex won’t agree to my proposed dates?
Put a detailed proposal in writing, try mediation, and if necessary apply to court.
Do I always need consent to travel abroad?
Yes, unless a court order allows it.
How much weight does a child’s opinion carry?
It depends on their age and maturity, but welfare remains the overriding factor.
Does an existing court order cover holidays?
Not always. You may need to apply to vary or clarify it.
Key Takeaway
Summer holiday disputes often arise not because one parent is unreasonable, but because both positions are reasonable, yet incompatible.
The parents who resolve matters most successfully are those who:
- Plan early
- Communicate clearly
- Stay child-focused
- Remain flexible
Where agreement isn’t possible, early legal advice can help you move forward with confidence and clarity.
